The Little Mouse (first campaigner challenge)

The First Campaigner Challenge has been posted! Here is what it entails:

Write a short story/flash fiction story in 200 words or less, excluding the title. It can be in any format, including a poem. Begin the story with the words, “The door swung open” These four words will be included in the word count.

If you want to give yourself an added challenge (optional), use the same beginning words and end with the words: “the door swung shut.” (also included in the word count)

For those who want an even greater challenge, make your story 200 words EXACTLY!

So. Here’s my entry. 200 words. Ta-daaa!
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The door swung open, and the little mouse jumped through.

Now, little mice should not just jump through doors whenever they open. Little mice do not know what is on the other side. Little mice are very little, and big rooms are very, very big.

But this little mouse did not know that. He was too little to know about big scary things. He was only just a baby not very many days ago. The little mouse did not know anything about the big, big world.

But he wanted to find out. So he left his house one day when his mother was not looking. And he came to a door. And when the wind blew the door open a little, he jumped through to the other side.

And there he saw a pair of big, scary eyes. And those eyes were staring right at him.

So the little mouse turned and ran as fast as he could back through the door, and into his house, faster than those big eyes could follow. As long as those eyes stayed on the other side of the door, he would be safe. Then the wind blew again and the door swung shut.

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If you like my story, please go here and scroll down and vote for mine by clicking the little “like” button under my picture. I’m #268. Thank you! And read the others while you’re at it, and generously vote for any of them that you like. 🙂

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39 responses to “The Little Mouse (first campaigner challenge)

  1. elizabethannewrites

    Phew! Lucky escape — and delightful story! Thank you!

  2. I’m so glad he was safe at the end!

  3. I was going to be upset if the mouse didn’t make it. Great job with the flash fiction challenge.

  4. DON’T SCARE THE KIDS!

    • they need to learn not to leave the house without Mother and go wandering around on the streets alone. Haven’t you seen the news articles? 😉

      (can you tell I’m a mom?)

      I suppose you folklorists might appreciate if I get back to the roots of fable, and have the little mouse get eaten so as to provide a more powerful moral?

      • That’s certainly what Bettelheim would have said. Anyway. That’s old school folklore. We’re all up in stories’ grills now.

  5. Great . . . now someone has to feed the cat. Oh, well. At least the little mouse got away. That was a fun story! Great job! 🙂

  6. Love it! I think I know the big eyes the little mouse saw. 🙂 Good work!

  7. Lovely flash fiction! As I read, I could see that little mouse scampering through the door. Great job!

  8. This is so very cute! My kids would love this story:)

  9. aw, cute story of escape This little mouse sounds adorable!

  10. That’s great. I all the ones I’ve read there are no others like this. Mine is #72

  11. Fantastic! You were right, I haven’t read something like this in the challenge entries so far.

    • Thanks! My first thought was a story a lot like the rest of them. I spent a couple days thinking, though, and decided to go with this instead. 🙂

  12. Thanks for joining the Insecure Writer’s Support Group! Look forward to your post next month.

  13. Thanks for the unique piece. And thanks for letting the little mouse get away ^_^

  14. glad it got away although you’re right about folk lore and of course to really hammer the lesson home it should have been eaten to serve as a warning and what does scary big eyes get to eat!! oh the endless endless possibilities of life!!!!!! nice one

    • Life has endless possibilities. When I write, I get to choose the one that makes me happy. Much more reliable than Real Life. 🙂

  15. What a cute story! 😀

  16. Cute and so fun. It’s like a children’s book with a moral to the story! Darling.

  17. I absolutely adored this!

  18. elizabethannewrites

    I’m back — just re-read your story and liked it even more the second time! I’m posting here because it didn’t seem appropriate to post on your moving words about 9/11. I’ve just listed you as a recipient of the Versatile Blogger Award. You can find the details on this post on my blog: http://elizabethannewrites.com/2011/09/13/im-a-versatile-blogger/

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